Not much of a cuddler

 So, the title is basically it.

I'm not much of a cuddler at night. When I go to bed, it takes me a while to get to a comfy spot. I can't really lie in one position for very long - I'm quite restless. Plus I get hot quite quickly. So when with another person, I can't handle the spooning thing for very long. It almost starts to hurt, because my hips will ache, or my knees will - or my shoulder is in an awkward position and it starts to hurt. These things happen even now when I have the whole bed to myself, so I'm tossing and turning all night. In between the tossing and turning, I'm also throwing off the bed covers because I'm too hot, and then grabbing them back because I get cool again. 

I used to love sleeping, now I almost dread it.

That said, J left his pillow behind when he moved out, and for the last nearly 9 months, I've been cuddling it to sleep. I've been holding on to it pretty tightly. Feeling like that statue in the picture here. Empty.

The pillow helped a little. But I've decided this year I need to be happy again, so I had to stop. I can't keep cuddling his pillow at night - it's a bit pathetic really.

So I feel a bit ridiculous but I bought myself a teddy bear to sleep with. Well not really a teddy but a red panda (hey it was cute!). So I'm trying. It's not working yet, but it's only been a week so far. I WILL get there... one day.