13 December, 2006

Fooling myself.

I was under the impression that things were going fine with my diabetes. I was getting a decent HbA1c (the three monthly average of my blood glucose levels). I've had results in the 5's for the last year. I've also lost 14 kg (30 pounds) in just over a year and my cholesterol levels are excellent.

In the past I've tested regularly after my main meal with good results. It was always my morning results that were higher than I liked. So, I've only tested occasionally after the evening meal recently, but test every morning to monitor.

But I think I've been fooling myself.

My morning results now seem to be mostly fine. Usually around the 5.5 (99) I'm meant to aim for. This morning I was 4.2 (75). But after my main meal seems to be going bad on me.

You see, I've downloaded some software to keep a track of my levels. I have a trial which allows me 30 entries, so I've been testing a bit more so I can get a bit of an idea on how it works. I've found so far, that 2 days out of 3 I've been over the 6-8 (108-144) after 2 hours, that the doctor wants me to aim for. In fact I've had a 9.4 (169) yesterday and today a 10.2 (183).

It's depressing... I've been eating the way I'm supposed to (according to the Diabetes Education Centre and the dietician) - in fact I haven't changed anything in my diet or exercise plan since the last time I was testing regularly.

I feel so restricted sometimes. Eat this many times a day. Eat only this much. Eat only this much of that type of food. Exercise this much. I do this - honest, I do (in fact the dietician thinks I'm too hard on myself) and still get levels this high?

I'm tired of it. I feel like such a failure.


Jazz said...

Awww that sucks! Sorry you have to go through that. You've gotta be really strong to be able to handle all that so I have to give you alot of credit. Keep your head up, I'm sure it'll get better. Or at least I hope it will.

Charm School Reject said...

Are you insulin dependant or do you take anything to help control it? My dad is diabetic and as long as he watches what he eats and drinks he's usually okay but he is so horrible about it that the doctor gave him Glyberide (sp?) which is a pill that is kinda like insulin but not as extreme. Just wondering because he was like you, no matter what he did he always had high sugar levels. When he went on the glyberide in addition within a week or so his levels have evened out and he is consistently maintaining his levels.

caramaena said...

Thanks jazz. I know it's nothing compared to what some others deal with, but sometimes it just gets me down.

charm school reject, I'm just controlling it with diet and exercise, well trying to anyway. The dietician thinks I should possibly be on medication, the doctor doesn't think it's warranted at the moment. She said if I started getting constant high numbers (instead of the occasional one), it would be something we'd think about.

Zazzy said...

Occassional highs can happen for a variety of reasons. I'm always impressed with type 2s keeping it in check with diet and exercise, it takes a lot of discipline. Don't feel it's a personal failure if you're doing everything you can and your numbers change. Your body changes. I am in a place of transition - over the past year my postprandials have moved up to 170-180 rather than their comfortable 140-150. So we're changing meds.

Good luck to you :-)

caramaena said...

Thanks zazzy. I know mentally I shouldn't be worried that I try but can't always get the numbers I'm supposed to. Unfortunately it's the emotional response I have trouble with.

I've been reading your comments about the byetta. I hope it's helping :)